So, I got a tattoo. I have been wanting one for like, ever. But I never had anything special or important enough to tattoo on my body. I mean, that’s a serious commitment: your entire life! Over the last year, I have been really focusing on gratitude. I have been trying to be grateful for all circumstances in my life, those I perceive as good, and those I perceive as bad; because I have realized they are all important and valuable to the whole of my life, shaping me into the person I was meant to be.
So the word “grateful” kept coming up in my mind. I want to be grateful everyday, because a grateful heart has a blessed life. So, I thought, grateful could be a great word to tattoo on my bod. Then, I kept thinking, I don’t want just some random script on me forever; I want it written in my husband’s handwriting. That way every time I look at it, I think of how grateful I am for him and our love. DONE! That’s what I wanted, and I decided I was just going to go for it.
So, made my hubby write out the word “grateful” probably 100 times. He is gifted in many things, but handwriting is not necessarily his best gift lol. We finally found one that we loved, and we took it into the tattoo parlor. It was pretty small; I didn’t want anything to loud or flashy. Well, we get there, and the tattoo artist said no way can they make it that small on my wrist. Over the years, the ink would spread and eventually it would turn into a big blob that you could not read. So the tattoo artist said I would have to double the size! Whoa. That changed how I felt about getting a tattoo, but I was wanted it so badly, that I just said F@*k it, let’s do this.
Well, once I had this beautiful word, with such sentimental value, permanently inked on my body, I immediately started freaking. Yes, I love my husand’s handwriting, and I love what it stands for, but because it is handwritten, of course it is not written in perfect form. I started picking apart all the letters, noticing how they weren’t perfect, and wishing I could change some things. But then it hit me. After two days of shear panic that I had ruined my body forever, I had a revelation. The reason I got the word “grateful” in his handwriting to begin with, was to remind myself to be grateful for how perfectly imperfect life is, and how perfect our love is, even though it’s not “perfect.” That is what has made my life so colorful and amazing. I have had plans and dreams, but they have often times fallen apart and been redirected to a much more amazing outcome than I could have ever dreamed up. If my life had gone according to the “perfect” plans I have made for myself, I would have missed the most magical, wild experiences of my life that I could have never dreamed up myself….
- Stealing Angels (my band) 2) The Amazing Race (twice) 3) Breaking up w my boyfriend, then two years later eloping with him in the Bahamas 4) Multiple jobs in the music industry that taught me all sides of the industry 5) Walking away from a major label record deal to follow my heart and start my podcast and website and entertainment hosting.
Those are just a few of the big things that have happened in my life that were not according to my plans. And those, are the most important pieces of my story. So, throughout my life experience I have learned to be “grateful” when things do not feel perfect, or when things fall apart in my mind. I know that just means God is putting something more magical together than I could imagine. I am “grateful” for my life not following my perfect plan, because my plan is not near as wonderful as what God has in store for me. With that revelation, I am so “grateful” that my tattoo is unique, and not perfectly written. The life I want to live is one that is just that: unique and not perfectly written.
I am GRATEFUL.
LOVE AND LIGHT!