Some people may think it’s hippie-dippie to make vision boards, or write out a vision journal, but not me. I am a fierce believer that the Universe will not manifest your dreams if you do not have clarity on what your dreams are. Think about it. If you are just wandering around the earth, praying that magically you will fall into a perfect life, but have no idea what a perfect life looks like for you, then how will you even be aware enough to know when you are being blessed with your heart’s desire. Is that confusing? Ok let me break it down. If you have not spent the time to really dig deep into your soul, get quiet with yourself, and discover what it is that lights you up inside, then how will you even know which road to walk down?
For my entire twenties, I just wanted to do cool, exciting stuff, and be around people who were movers and shakers. I wanted to experience things. I wanted to see the world. I knew I wanted to be in the entertainment business, but I didn’t really have clarity on what I loved to do besides use my voice and personality to entertain people and be around interesting people. I have always wanted to personally know people who made shit happen. I LOVE people who have manifested challenging dreams, and never gave up on their deepest desires. It inspires me to no end, and makes me believe I can achieve my deepest desires. I have always wanted to belong to that club because I have always felt like I had something to express, I just wasn’t exactly sure what it was yet. So my twenties were a time of saying YES to all adventures and opportunities that came my way. It was a time of trial and error for me. I learned what I loved, and what just wasn’t for me. I learned how to interact with all types of people, all walks of life, all over the world. I learned how to love myself, and love others, and to choose love, even when I’m fragile or insecure. Yes, I still have breakdowns and moments when I feel completely worthless and like a total loser, but I don’t believe those thoughts anymore. I know that they will pass and are not my true self. I found my faith in God, and saw him work miracles in my life. Seeing God personally guide my life by the doors he has opened and closed for me, leading me to a destiny more magical than I could ever dream up, really taught me to surrender control, even though it can be scary as shit.
It was hard at first to surrender control to God, because in the beginning, I had no personal experience to base my faith on other than what I had been taught in church and my upbringing. Then I got to Nashville around the age of nineteen and I was magically led to be a part of a country trio Stealing Angels. This band took me around the country and overseas to Kuwait and Iraq. This band taught me how to work together in a group of driven, headstrong, passionate women who had serious vision. Stealing Angels was a huge growing experience for me because I learned how to compromise, and I learned that my thoughts were not always right (that was tough for me, I used to be super self-righteous), and that I needed to respect, value and consider the thoughts of my band-mates as equally as my own. That is much harder (especially in the beginning) to do than it seems. But that was a very important lesson that I am so thankful to have learned.
Stealing Angels also taught me to not stress or make anything too big of a deal. I used to put SUCH pressure on having things go just as perfectly as I planned, or I would completely fall apart; example: travelling or schedules. But when you are in a trio, and a part of a big team with tons of moving pieces and people, it is just not possible to stay attached to plans. You must learn to be flexible and easy when things change, or you will live a life being chronically upset. It was painful to learn that lesson, but such a blessing to my life. So being a part of Stealing Angels was the first miracle God worked in my life. I ALWAYS had dreamed of being a famous country singer, performing on big stages, and Stealing Angels was that experience for me. We never became super-stars from that band, but it gave me a just the perfect amount of fame and touring life to feel like I accomplished a huge dream. It was also taught me that fame is not real. I had always believed that fame made people more special, like super-humans. That ain’t the case. Fame can be a wonderful tool to make the world a better place if someone uses their platform for good, or it can make someone self destruct if that person starts to truly believe they are more valuable than others. I got to see the affects of fame up close and personal and I am very grateful that veil was lifted for me. Stealing Angels was the first time I really believed I could achieve whatever I set me mind to; that was my first taste of manifesting a vision.
Then Stealing Angels fell apart after about 6 years. That was my first taste of “failure” (which I no longer believe in failure) and heart-breaking disappointment. I had put all my heart and soul into this trio, and I could not image life without it. I felt like God must not love me because he took this away from me. I had a breakdown. Like a real one, probably the closest thing to a nervous breakdown that I have ever experienced. I freaked out so much, that I broke up with awesome boyfriend of four years (now my husband), and moved to Austin, Texas. I just couldn’t process what was happening in my life, and it was all too overwhelming for me to take. So I moved away to try and make sense of my life and what my purpose was, now that my only dream had been stripped away from me. Yes, I know that may sound dramatic, but if you know me, you know I am super intense with my emotions and passion. And at that point in my life, I had no experience navigating life when it completely gets turned upside down on you, so I panicked and assumed my life was over. I do not respond to turbulence in that extreme anymore. Then the Universe/God showed up for me… Just when I thought I was hopeless. I got a call from my band-mate, Jennifer Wayne who said The Amazing Race was looking for two “country singers” to compete on the show. WHAT?! I had never even seen the show, but I knew it was a competition show that took you around the world. One of my deepest desires was to travel and know the world. This was MAGIC! A dream come true. And it came completely out of the blue, with no warning. I started to believe God had not abandoned me, and maybe he actually was closing some doors I thought I loved just to open better ones I could not even imagine. This was the beginning of when I really started to surrender to God. I had experienced now two of my deepest desires being manifested: 1) Being a famous (famous enough for me) country singer 2) Travelling the world on TV! I always wanted to be on TV, always, always always! I was manifesting my dreams. But God was leading the way, not me, and I began to realize this.
After competing not once, but twice on The Amazing Race, and coming in 4th and 2nd place, I began to believe I could manifest my dreams. I began to get much more intentional with my life and pursuing my deepest desires. I started writing notes in phone about “my vision.” I was super specific and detailed, and covered all areas of my life, and set time frames and money, career, and relationship goals. And guess what, I manifested everything! Yep. The key is not worrying about the outcome. God will give you the perfect outcome… All you have to do is just keep tirelessly following the voice in your soul and walking through the open doors that support that calling.
I think it is important to really get clear on what the calling is on your heart. Many young people today are taught to just get a job that makes money. They are not encouraged to really listen to the little voice in their soul that is whispering their deepest desire. I am here to say LISTEN TO THAT LITTLE VOICE!! That voice is GOD! That voice is the roadmap to your most fulfilling destiny; the destiny that God has put YOU on this earth to manifest. And only you know what you are being called to do. It aggravates me to NO end when parents, teachers, friends, peers, society, whomever pressure kids to just get a career and get a job. NO! That is not fulfilling. Get spiritual, get deep, get intentional, get to know your soul, and take the time to listen to what your heart is telling you do do. I swear, if you follow the voice in your soul with reckless abandon, you will have to most beautiful, colorful, fulfilling life. But you must surrender to the higher power. You have to let God/Universe lead the way. And you must trust that when God closes a door, as painful as that can be, he has not forsaken you. He is preparing you for something greater that he knows will fulfill you more. But the trick is, you will not receive any of these blessings from God if you try to run your own show. God cannot bless you if you do not trust him enough to lead your life.
So, in closing, may this blog be a sign for you that you need to commit to the calling of your soul. We are all going to die, so why spend your time on this earth being an uptight, anal, control freak, who never has any fun and doesn’t believe in miracles because the world never goes your way….. well DUH! Nothing will ever go your way if you are trying to control everything. That is just arrogant to think you know better than God. Let go of control! Work hard, hustle your butt off, be kind and generous and grateful to all people and experiences that come into your life (including ones that feel negative). But most importantly follow the song of your soul. That is why you were put on this earth. And please, please, please don’t stop believing in magic and miracles. Because anything is possible if you just believe.
LOVE AND LIGHT!